Here in California, it makes a big difference in custody matters. I am in student housing, so my stbx could not stay there if I was not there. My son’s school was just a couple of blocks away. I was the one that took him to school every day. I only work part time and go to school part time, so I was able to spend more time with the kids.
All of these factors worked into the judges decision.
She figured that she would get them because she was the mother. I ended up with 70% time. And it really didn’t cost me that much. I have spent about $3,000 for the whole thing so far.
This is the most important thing you will do. You can do it.
My situation was considerably different. My Ex was not a good mom, but she was the primary care giver. She disappeared with the kids one day and had gone to a battered women’s shelter and filed suit against me. I was facing false allegations of spouse abuse. I decided to fight for the kids because I knew what she had put them through. I discovered that I was not just fighting my wife in court but an entire system (and industry) that thrives on the breakup of families and targets men because they are most often the “deep pockets”.
The advise that I would give you is to fight for your kids. The times the are a changing. If you were the primary caregiver and intend to keep the children in the family home with everything that is familiar to them then I would say that the odds are a little more in your favor then 50/50. Of course, you’ll need a lot of money for lawyers, but I repeat – FIGHT FOR YOUR KIDS! Take a $3000-$5000 loan if needed (here is a website I recommend), but don’t give up!
Especially if you can document her intend to move and that you were the primary care giver and that the kids want to live with you. Our judge talked to the younger kids in chambers and they were able to tell him what they wanted and why.
I was facing long odds! When allegations of abuse are made you have to not only prove that you are innocent but then prove that you are a better choice for custody. Even if I would have lost, I still would have fought because I would not have been able to look myself in the mirror otherwise.
There is alot more to my story, hope I didn’t throw too much at you, but I say once again: IF YOU FEEL IN YOUR HEART THAT YOU WOULD BE THE BETTER PARENT TO HAVE CUSTODY THEN GO FOR IT!!!!!